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- Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to)
- On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse
to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
- Bring pets.
- Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me,
I have to leave the country" and run off.
- Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell
out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this
process every fifteen minutes.
- Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
- Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
- Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
- Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
- Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
- As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
- Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the
instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed
to stay.
- Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
- Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
- Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting
things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
- Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
- Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.
- Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all
leaving after one hour to go drink)
- Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
- Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light
bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
- Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
- Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom
of the opera" until they drag you away.
- Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize
you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
- Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this
drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
- Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
- From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they
finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
- Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
- If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers
into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
- Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
- Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have
bad circulation.
- Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise
you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached
notes for references as you see fit."
- When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
- After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
- One word: Wrestlemania.
- Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
- Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
- Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
- Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
- Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
- During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
- Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
- Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy
of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't
forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
- Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"
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