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- I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of every banjo-playing geek on "Hee Haw.")
- There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
- I'm not attracted to you in that way. (You are the ugliest dork I have ever laid eyes upon.)
- My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)
- I've got a boyfriend. (I'd rather stay home alone.)
- I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less
the same building.)
- It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
- I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and as my job has got to be better than dating you.)
- I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)
- Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and
fall in love with.)
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